Happy New Year, Folks!

Well, this is a I-am-here-I-have-always-been-here-even-though-it-did-not-seem-I-was-here post. Nothing interesting , just BS.

Why the need ? Because I missed writing on this space. Because I was always here, scribble something in my drafts and left this place assuring I will be back to add some stories, some thoughts to this dream-space of mine.

So why now? Now, when you have nothing to write? Because its almost the end of the year and I haven't contributed anything this year.

Is this because nothing worthwhile happened this entire year? No, definitely not. As a matter of fact, its the opposite. A lot of things happened. And most of them for good. To family, to friends, to near and dear ones, to the far and not-so-dear ones & to me as well. Yet, I have not been screaming here, one bit.

So why today? 30th December? Because its the saddest day of my life on the calendar. The day I wish would have never happened. But 31st comes along and I see people cheerful and full of enthusiasm celebrating the end of the year wishing that a beautiful year comes out of its cocoon to spread joy and color to their lives.

And So, as we move to this new beginning, I wish you all a very Happy New Year!!

Going back in time

Its hard to be nostalgic when you can hardly remember a thing.
Believe me, its not easy for me to not forget a thing.
How many times have you come across moments during your mundane routines that remind you of little things from past. Little kids playing under the scorching sun reminds you of your summer vacation afternoons spent on the cricket field. A group of friends laughing around a coffee table in CCD reminds you of your days with your friends.
And then there are some others.

Like this drowsy much-maligned Monday Morning. With closed eyes, I was listening to this song on my i-pod while on my way to work. And for the briefest of moments, I found myself in my school classroom standing for the daily morning prayers and the sweetest voice singing the same song on the PAS (Public Announcement System) . It was the most meaningful song I had heard so far, then. And it is one of them, still. The beautiful voice had convinced me that this was always meant to be a prayer. Until later on, I realized it was a song composed by arguably the first international pop star people of my generation must have heard of.
Thank you MJ for the song.
Thank you MJ for a few memories.
Thank you MJ for the words that would mean a lot yesterday, today and forever.

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Like this time, when I came across a picture in a certain leading newspaper, a picture that had tainted a 11-year young kid's mind forever !

When was the last time you had such a moment ?

In Greed We Trust !

Scott Adams gets it right, A(I)GAIN.

Fear leads to flight; Anger leads to fight.

...and Anger leads to a friend.

I used to take the school bus in the first few years of my school. As everyone who has been in it at least once would know the school bus is the worst place to be in.It was messy, it was dirty and it was filled with school-going litters howling, screaming and yelling till their vocal chords strained. And this one was no different either. The back seats of the bus was actually a mini fight-club. You settled your scores with people, grudges that were picked up in school.
I was introduced to this club in the first few months of my school itself. I was this young skinny guy back then,short tempered and foolish.(Today, I am old, skinny and still foolish.) Foolish enough to challenge a pig-sized chubby kid for a fight.
If I were to bet, I would have put all my stakes in his favor, even now.
But, back then I was foolish, remember.
So after a lot of name-calling and pulling at each other's shirt, we traded blows (and some bites from him as well). A left, a right, a jab, an undercut, another left followed by a right-handed punch - I got the lion's share of the blows that day. Somehow, by sheer fluke, one of my very few punches landed on his jaws and he started bleeding. Perhaps he could not stand the sight of blood.Or perhaps he could not stand the sight of my battered face. And he fainted. There was only one man standing. Barely standing.
I realized that day the winner takes all, even the punishment that followed the next day at school.After being reprimanded by the headmistress, I pleaded her to forgive me with all the innocence a seven year old could muster. I made friends with Berlin, the chubby guy with a more chubby left cheek that day.

That's how I got my first best buddy in school.

A lot can happen over coffee

- says Cafe Coffee Day. Thanks, but No Thanks. I would prefer the coffee table, if not the bed. Imagine the mess, and dare you order the coffee hot!! Ouch!!

Thankfully this was not over coffee.

Here I was with this gorgeous thing alone in my apartment. This was to be The Night. She was dressed in her seam-ripping, figure-hugging, black leather outfit and looked the sexiest beauty anyone would ever come across. The first time I saw her, I was left speechless. It has been the same ever since. When silence speaks a thousand words, words hold no meaning and like today, lust ceases to be a sin. I walked across to her and pushed her to the couch. As I traced her body with my fingers, I could feel her shiver in excitement. My fingers,as if having a mind of their own, unzipped the only piece of modesty that she had. There she lay in front of me, the Goddess, in a way she was meant to be. She was black, she was beautiful, she had the right curves. Every touch would make her moan & music flowed from her sighs. This was it. I could not hold back any longer. I laid her across myself and holding her in my arms, fingered her to an orgasmic frenzy. My guitar never sounded better. ;)

My Favourite Animal

Sloth is ...
...the nth power of Slow.

...when you are going through the pain of watching Paheli on television because the remote control is 10 cms away from your reach.

...when you are too lazy to hold a grudge.

...the coolest character from the Ice Age.


...when I wouldn't budge out of my mom's cosy womb for more than 9 days of the due date. My mom didn't speak to me for the next few days & my dad wanted to name me after a species of sloths but being an animal lover he felt they were far better looking and it would not be fair to them.

FINALLY...
...when it takes 395 days to write a new post after the last one.

If you could come up with more, there is space in the comments. Dirty it...I m not going to wash it anyways !

I AM LEGEND

CIRCA 2018 A.D.

As the Cargo Ship rumbled past me at the Ferry Wharf, my ham radio blared its message,
"My name is RKL. I am a survivor living in Mumbai. I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies. I will be at the Bhaucha Dhakka everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide Sambar that doesn't taste like Aamti,I can provide the last few forms for the MIB, I can provide security from the Masters of Maharashtra. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone. "

My 5 year-old kid pulled me to a nearby restaurant to show me the breaking news of the day on TV."The President of the State of Maharashtra,Shri BT, has just passed a bill for Radha-Krishna Day.Also in a recent development, the Ambassador of Bengal called upon the Prime Minister, Shri RT, for signing the deal for exports of Vada Pav to Kolkata." Well,these are the legendary protectors of the Marathi Manoos, the Masters of Maharashtra.The S&M government (you pervs!! its the Sena-Maharashtra Navnirman Aliance),that a decade ago,fought to protect the great culture of Maharashtra and drove away all those who didn't follow the "eat-tambaku-n-spit-everywhere" policy or work as efficiently as the BMC.The few survivors were given the MIB-MAHARASHTRA IDENTIFICATION BILLA which was to be tied to the neck at all times - even while you attend nature's call at public places.

So back to my son who comes up with his own breaking news.
"Baba, you know what?? That Pritamrao Patil chya Dhaba(Pritam da Dhaba), it has been banned for serving sarson da saag n makki di roti.And apna Just Parathas, they were lai shana, they changed to Fakta Puranpoli overnite."
"Son, I don't care. I m already confused where you would study - Jijamata Vidyalaya, Sambhaji MahaVidyalaya or the Shivaji Paathshala."
"But Baba, am I not going to the convent school that you did?"
"Na beta,we are supposed to go to Marathi schools only."
"But Shri RT's son goes to the same school that you went.".Annoyed and Angry.
And all of a sudden a mini-riot broke out between the CKPs and KOBRA for insulting each other's culture.
Thank god for these riots, It saved me from my son so far.

As we made our way to the hospital, I over-heard two cricket-crazy Sachin Bhakt speaking," Chya Mayla, those Madrasis they want to send a security delegation to see if the tour can go on...yeu de tyana, lungi kadhun takeen" Well, for the ill-informed, Karnataka were to tour Mumbai for a 3 tests 5 one-dayers & 10 T20s BalaT-DeveG Trophy.But these riots have put the tour in jeopardy.

Dodging my son's questions and the rioting public, I reach the hospital to find the nurse engrossed in the entertainment section of Mumbai-Aarsha and the headlines screamed "KC Bokadia che chingari, a tribute to RGV ki Aag,was the undisputed hit abroad, especially in Jharkhand."
And there my poor wife lay in the labour-room writhing in pain, having just delivered my cute li'l baby.
"Sorry honey, I can't be with you right now, I got to file for the MIB with the BMC before they get our newborn arrested for being an illegal resident!"
Run Bala Run, b-bye!!